Suitcase

When I come to see you I’m always dragging a suitcase along. Just like I was on Wednesday. These past 3 days have been so much fun and although we spend the play side of life together I’m so happy when I’m with you. Sometimes it feels unreal, that I’m sitting on your bed with you watching movies and chatting.  We always make good food and you’ll feed me well even though you’re a uni student. Going out to the city as a couple and shopping together makes me feel so content. Although that hot chocolate shake may have warmed me inside, you had already warmed my heart. Saying goodbye is the hardest part of the trip but I know that I’ll see you again and maybe even more next year.

You’re an amazing person and I’m lucky to have you. I just never want the days we’re together to end.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

- Lao Tzu

Ending

So it’s December. People are much busier at this time of the year, shopping and working overtime. Preparing to go on holiday (me) and making sure they’ve done everything on their to do list. I find that time is flying now and having met one of my best friends who’s come back from uni for a few weeks it’s motivated me further to go to university, I almost had another depressive collapse when I started wondering why they all got to go and not me and even though I wanted it more than they did I failed the worst. But such is life, these things happen. I’ve got this year to turn it around and in 10 years time if I do well I’ll just look back at this as a life lesson of how failure tastes. Better to fall over at the start then when you’ve almost reached the finish line.

Life is a Marathon, not a sprint. They’ll be times where you fall back and can’t see the point of continuing but where will you go from there? Always better yourself both mentally and physically. We as humans have come so far because of this desire. Always aspire to be better and try harder.

Here’s a few pictures I took this evening as the sky was orange, they’re from my phone but I haven’t seen the sky this colour for a long time.

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“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”

- Theodore Roosevelt

Our goals

Now for me when I say the past I’m referring to my recent failures in my exams. It seems that everyone that sees me and does not know of my grades will keep pestering me about it. This then causes my parents to begin their lecturing and mocking of my degree choice. If I’m honest it’s quite rude and degrading. I feel as though I can’t shake of these shackles of staying at home doing nothing, it sounds pathetic but I need to get the grades for next year and due to certain circumstances I am currently unable to get a job. But honestly I get worried and fear I won’t be able to achieve my grades, I failed so badly the first time so why would I do any better this time? But I have to shake off those fears if I want to go to uni and move forward in life.

I need to keep pushing towards my goal. We all do. We all have setbacks and hurdles on our path in life. We just need to make sure we don’t trip up on them and fall off that path.

Also I would like to say R.I.P. to Nelson Mandela. A great man who fought for equality and he himself made sure he reached his goal. He was thrown into jail for 27 years yet still he did not waver in his belief. His actions have allowed a country to finally unite and for apartheid to be a thing of the past. He truly is the Father of S.Africa

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

- Nelson Mandela

Winter

Winter is now well and truly here in the northern hemisphere. I know in Australia they celebrate Christmas in the scorching heat yet over here in the UK there’s the whole idea of a white snowing Christmas, as lovely as it sounds it always causes travel disruptions to families trying to meet up  for the festivities period and hence people secretly don’t want a white christmas over here. However the real issue is that the cold days and nights bring is the rise in energy bills. Many families are feeling the pinch this Christmas and have to not only purchase presents but also keep the house warm and with energy prices rising in the UK, a lot of us who may has shopped House of Fraser up until now will find ourselves walking into Next. Many homeless people die each year due to the weather as well, elderly people are also as risk as many are by themselves and therefore they are vulnerable to theft or even unable to put on the heating or fireplace.

Whilst the start of December heralds the arrival of Christmas we shouldn’t forget about those around us who are not in the same position as us. Giving away left overs to homeless people will make their day and don’t forget to invite your (great) grandmother/grandfather.

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.”

Richard Bach

An amazing weekend

So from Saturday morning till afternoon this Monday I was busy visiting my girlfriend at her university. People I message a lot can always tell since I’ll hardly message them during the times when I’m seeing her regardless of whether it’s a few hours or a few days.
We had our traditional dominos pizza and watched movies till 4am. I can honestly say I’m at my happiest when I’m with her and saying goodbye to her for a few weeks is the hardest thing to do. But it’s given me motivation to work hard so I can see her more next year when I’m at university if I ace my exams.

We all need a push or shove or even a kick up the ass in order to get us going again and motivate us. When things aren’t looking great and you can’t keep your chin up you really need someone to lift your head for you so you can see the infinite possibilities that are out there. You help me do that, thank you so much.

“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.”

- Sam Ewing

Update

Sorry everybody for the lack of posts in the last few days. I’ve had a lot to do and honestly haven’t had the energy to write a blog post. I really need to start my motivational quotes and pictures once more. I’m off to see my girlfriend this weekend so I’ll be busy with that but next week I’ll be back on track with my blog. I’ll have a few posts about my thoughts on things and others on how I’m coping. It’s almost December…time does fly and I’ll be flying off soon too.

Don’t run away, I’ll be back!

Frustration

I’m frustrated at my lack of freedom and ability to do what I like. I’m waiting though this year as patiently as possible but it’s still annoying nonetheless how restricted my life has become. I feel that I truly have lost so much and that I need to get the grades this year in order to stop myself from losing more. I’m working hard but constant reminders of my failure hinder my progress. Don’t you wish sometimes that people understood you more and were more supportive?

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems — not people; to focus your energies on answers — not excuses.”

- William Arthur Ward